dreaming with my eyes wide open

a tribute to 2019

hi all! so, I know it’s been a minute since I’ve had/taken the time to write, but as the craziness from this year has settled, I thought I would take the time to give a little update on what has been one the most amazing year.

this past year was truly the best year of my life.

I know, I know. I say this almost every year, but it’s true!! life just keeps getting better and better.

and the reason I am sharing all of this with you is not to brag or boast about how amazing my life is, it is because I am truly so sooo grateful for everything. Every single opportunity, memory, and moment was a blessing that I am incredibly thankful for, and something I will cherish for the rest of my life.

this year was like something from a dream. it felt like the perfect movie, the perfect story, like something from a hallmark movie. there were so many times and moments where I had to ask myself, is this really real?

so here are some of the ~highlights~

• I travelled further and farther than I had ever been before. This year alone, I visited four countries and over 15 states!

• I started the year taking a spontaneous trip to Chicago to go see the Bears in the playoffs. We won’t talk about the details of the game (RIP Parkey), but it was such an amazing once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

• I studied abroad in Italy for the month of May, where I had some of the most incredible life-changing experiences, created friends for life, and enjoyed THE BEST pizza and pasta in the world.

• I spent the summer falling in love with my best friend as we went on countless adventures. It literally felt like a love-story out of a movie.

• I had a super awesome internship at the Indianapolis Museum of Art (Newfields) all summer where I got to grow personally and professionally.

• I hiked! A lot! I went to so many BEAUTIFUL places with so many great friends. I even took a hiking class at my school in the fall (yes, that’s actually a thing)

• I spent the weekend in Asheville with my best friends (who I happen to live with).

• I competed in rowing regattas all across the country including the Head of the Charles, which some of you may know is a biiiig deal in the rowing world.

• I went back to Europe in the fall to visit my boyfriend who lives in the Netherlands. From exploring new cities, to eating fries in Belgium, to going on a surprise trip to Paris, we had endless laughs, love, and memories I will hold in my heart forever.

• I finished my second to last semester at High Point. Yeet. (also, moderate panic)

• I went to Hawaii with my family, because we had a lot to celebrate and be grateful for this year: my parents 25th wedding anniversary, my dad’s hawaii 5-0 birthday, my sister & I’s graduations, and Jesus’s birthday (the most important one). i loved every minute in sunny (and sometimes rainy) paradise. it was literally the most perfect place in the entire world.

• I celebrated Christmas and rang in the new year with my closest friends and family. We had seven days of Christmas parties back-to-back, then jumped right into New Years.

I am so soooo soooo beyond incredibly grateful for every single one of these moments, because this year was so great. I truly felt like I was dreaming with my eyes open.

but I have to admit, I was a little bit sad for this year to be over, because it was such an incredible chapter of my life.

I mean, how can you beat studying in Italy, having a movie-like summer, exploring places all over the country, travelling through Europe, and spending the holidays with my favorite people?! How could next year possibly compete with this?!

then I reminded myself, this is also what I thought about last year… and the year before that… and the year before that… and… you get the idea.

Life just keeps getting better and better, and I know that the future is so bright. God has such great plans for me, and for all of us.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

Trusting in this plan is part of the process.

So instead of being sad about the memories I am leaving behind, I am so excited for what lies ahead in the future.

I mean, who knows?! there are so many incredible milestones waiting for me in this decade: graduating, finding a job, travelling all over the world, getting my own place, maybe getting married, adopting a puppy, starting a family, and so much more that I don’t even know I have to look forward to yet.

thus, as I reflect back on this year, I am also excited and hopeful for the future.

so here’s to you, 2019, for being the best year of my life. for all the mems. for all of the blessings. for being a dream.

and to 2020, bring it on :)

Grab a Shopping Cart

Like any good story starts, I was out shopping at Target the other day. I was only making a short trip and had only planned on buying a couple of things, so as I walked through the doors, I skipped straight past the shopping carts and started heading towards the aisle that I needed.

But, as you know, it’s Target, and before I even got 25 feet inside the door, I got distracted by the dollar section.

Cute valentines day cards for your friends that are only $1… yes, pahleese! You know, I really do need some new kitchen hand towels because mine are too wintry heading into spring. and oh my gosh, these crocodile erasers?! they would look so cute on my dresser, and they’re ~puzzles~ in case I get bored in class.

Before I knew it, my 1-2 item list had already expanded to 4-5, but hey it’s Target, so that’s to be expected.

With a couple new things in hand, I finally started heading towards the things that I actually came for. I started browsing the aisles pulling out what was on my list.

But as I went along, I began to realize I needed a few more things than I had remembered. I began collecting each of these items, gathering them into my arms, and rearranging them every time I picked up something new.

And before I knew it, I was carrying so many things that my arms were literally so full that I couldn’t carry anything else.

The first thing I thought to myself, I should have grabbed a shopping cart.

Now while this might seem like a relatively silly story that many of us can relate to (the Target effect, am I right?), the real reason I am sharing this little anecdote is because I think it actually relates a lot to life.

Think of it like this.

As we go through life, we come across a lot of things that we “pick-up” along the way. Relationships, worries, problems, fears, failures, challenges. All of the these things that we need to make us into the people who we are.

But, like the Target story, every time we pick something up, we begin carrying it with us.

At first it’s not that difficult: we only have one or two things to carry. The load is rather light, and we can carry it on our own. But as we keep going, we keep picking up more and more things along the way. Suddenly, it’s not so easy to carry them all anymore.

All of the things that we take along with us, get harder and harder to hold. And when we hold on to too many things, it begins to weigh us down.

That’s when it becomes time to let go of trying to carry it all.

Enter the shopping cart.

All of the things that we pick up along our way through life, are things that we need. Good and bad, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and shapes us into the incredible people that we are.

But the damage comes from when we keep trying to hold onto all of them.

When we keep holding onto our problems, fears, stresses, and past, it adds up quickly and begins to weigh us down. Even as we try to rearrange and fit everything inside of us, it makes it difficult to keep going and prevents us from having space for new things in our life.

On the other hand, if we put these things aside, we not only lift a huge burden off of ourselves, but we become free and open to live our best life.

I know this is way easier said than done. Letting go is hard and even scary.

But, letting go does not always mean getting rid of completely. We can still keep these things a part of our identity and let them be what makes us who we are.

Letting go just means deciding to not carry the weight with you anymore.

So let it go. Set it down. Stop holding onto every little thing.

Let your self be free from the things that hold you back and open yourself up to the greater things that lie ahead.

Oh and next time you go to Target, grab a shopping cart :)

Here's to the Nights We Felt Alive

2018.

Wow. What. A. Year.

What has felt like one of the longest, yet shortest years ever (remember that Olympics we had this year?) is quickly coming to a close, and I find myself reflecting on this past year.

Going into 2018, I made the promise to myself that I was going to make it “my year.” This was the year I was going to stop waiting for life to happen and start living my best life. This was the year I was going to take control of my life and fully embrace being alive.

I set out to do just that, and looking back, I am truly at one of the happiest I have ever been.

I spent the last 12 months studying, traveling, competing, laughing, creating, and falling in love with the world we live in. I was able to travel to so many incredible places, connect with so many different people, and experience so many new opportunities.

This year taught me to be fearless and live my life without regrets. It reminded me that we are not guaranteed tomorrow; we aren’t even guaranteed today. I wanted to embrace every single moment of the past year, the highs and the lows, because every second we are given is a blessing.

This year was absolutely insane and truly one of the best of my life. I am incredibly blessed and thankful to have the life that I do and to be surrounded by such amazing family and friends. Above all, I am thankful for a loving God who has made all of these things possible and who continues to bless me every single day.

2018, you were good to me. Here’s to the nights we felt alive.

Don't Forget to Live

I think it is pretty safe that we have reached ~that~ point in the semester. You know, the time of the year where life seems to go completely crazy and everything happens all at once.

Homework. Projects. Tests. Finals. A millions things to get done.

It seems like the list of things to do keeps getting longer and longer. Every time something gets checked off, another item somehow appears.

During this time of the year, I often find myself a billion times more stressed, tired, and mentally unstable than I usually am. This time of year is overwhelming and let me tell you, the dark circles are REAL man.

This is also usually the point in the year where I find myself in need of a little bit of motivation and some reminders.

So whether you are reading this in the midst of a study break or mental breakdown, here two things I want you to keep in mind to help motivate you through the rest of the year.

1. You will make it through this; you have before.

2. Don’t forget to live along the way.

Remember last year when you were just as stressed, tired, and overwhelmed as you are now?

A blessing or a curse, we experience these feelings all the time. There are ups and downs and highs and lows. But somehow, we always pull through.

I am sure there have been plenty of times in your life, beyond finals week, where you have questioned, how am I going to make it through this? Yet, here you are. You made it through. You always make it.

So as you continue to feel this overwhelmingness (yes, it’s a word, I looked it up), remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you will reach it. You have been here before, and you will make it through again.

And along the way, don’t miss out on life’s moments that are happening right now.

Sometimes we get so caught up in life, that we forget to live.

Especially during the crazy times of year, it is so easy to focus on everything we have to do, that we forget to enjoy life as we do it. I am sooo guilty of this sometimes that I have to remind myself to enjoy these moments while they are happening.

So here’s my little bit of wisdom for this: perspective.

Twenty years from now, you are not going to remember the grade you got on that paper you stayed up until 2 am to write, and no one is going to ask you what your GPA was.

You are going to remember that time you got lost coming home from an adventure with your friends, and people are going to ask you what your favorite part of college was.

Now, I am not saying that you should not try or not care about school, I am saying to put it into perspective. Working hard and striving to be the best you can be is important to being happy and successful.

Just don’t forget about the other things along the way.

Putting your stress into perspective means not letting it overwhelm you to the point where you stop enjoying life. Putting life into perspective means focusing in on the bigger picture.

Find the balance between the demands of your work and the enjoyable moments of life. Don’t forget to live.

So as you make your way through these last few weeks, keep these two little things in mind. I know these next few weeks will be tough, but stay focused, know the finish line is on the horizon, and enjoy the run. I BELIEVE IN YOU.